What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What works better than anti-depressants?

A 12 Gauge in the mouth This came to me whilst being all depressed.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time are you supposed to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Lightning Jokes More Lightning Jokes

Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?

A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.

What is the difference between lightning and electricity?

Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? Alexander: I know you do not have to pay for lightning.