Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

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How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl."

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

What's the difference between the IRS and a baby?

It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck !

Thor Brother Jokes More Thor Brother Jokes

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Disappoint Jokes More Disappoint Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'