What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

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What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.

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What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy?

There's no such thing as negative energy"

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

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What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

How do electricians meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm

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What do electricians say when they meditate?

Ohm...

How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar?

Total internal reflection.