What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

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How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

How do you go about hiring a horse?

Try two pairs of stilts!

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Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

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How do electricians meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm

What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

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What do electricians say when they meditate?

Ohm...

How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar?

Total internal reflection.