What do Aaron Hernandez and Edward Snowden have in common?

They're both expatriots (expatriates).

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

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Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence?

The Cowboys' endzone because no one goes there

What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison?

He's not a tight end anymore )