What do all my friends and my dad have in common?

i didnt have either growing up

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on?

asking for a friend

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What is the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.