What do you call a deaf dinosaur?

Anything you like - he can't hear you.

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What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables."

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

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What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

Why do the Irish wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.