What do you call a guy who likes to lose?

Ewan

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What do you call a person who has lost all hope?

A: Linus

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

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What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

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What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

A drummer.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.