What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

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What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?

A bigger target.

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What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

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Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.

What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.