Why did the monster lie on his back?

To trip up low-flying aircraft.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's his name?

A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's name? A: Betty Will

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?

Because he was a car-case.

What can a monster do that you can't do?

Count up to 25 on his fingers.