What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

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What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?

Her clam smells like fish!

What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they were dating?

A Feyonce

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What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.