What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

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What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

Where can you find a mormon horse?

Salt Lick City.

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What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

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What do they call Chipotle in Canada?

Chipotl-eh

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."