What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why is 'The Game' the most powerful rapper?

Because you lose every time you talk about him ( )

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?