What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin

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What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

Where did Putin tell the protesters where to meet?

Crimea River

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Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.