What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..