What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

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Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

500 Pound Jokes More 500 Pound Jokes

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.