What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's the difference between my bed and my imagination?

You aren't naked in my bed.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's good for the soul and rarely found in America?

A sense of humor.

What do you find in a pumpkins pants?

A Halloweenie!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night?

Because he was empty inside.

What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Sofa Jokes More Sofa Jokes

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

What do you get if you cross a cow a french fry and a sofa?

A cowch potato!

500 Pound Jokes More 500 Pound Jokes

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.