What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A brick to the back of his head should do it.

How did the calf's final exam turn out?

Grade A!

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Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

How much do pirates charge for piercings?

A buck an ear.

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What did the French stoner say?

80 blaze it

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.