What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

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What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a coconut?

Coconuts have hair

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

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Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.

How does the Moon get its haircut?

Eclipse it!