What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

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When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady?

Me: I do.

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What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

How does the alchemist please his wife?

Elixir!!!!!

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How does a young man make an old woman feel young again?

Elixir

What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.