What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Why aren't you smiling?

my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."

What's the opposite of funny?

answer: Jay Leno

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?

Garbage gets picked up!

Why do crippled kids get picked on so much?

Because they can't stand up for themselves.

Rank Jokes More Rank Jokes

What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything?

Seor Manager

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.