What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

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What's not 50% off today?

Health insurance

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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What do you call a groan-inducing, kindergarten-level pun?

Top post on /r/Jokes.

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

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What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

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What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.