Uncle Vernon Jokes

What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

Post.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

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What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch?

The cold shoulder

What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday?

Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted?

I don't know I just fly the drone"

What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!"

What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?

Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.

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What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago?

Reddit Old

Why do Muslims hate Reddit?

Haram be everywhere