What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What's six feet tall , silver and stands at the end of kids beds?

Gary Glitters boots.

How did the mathematician reach the end of the Y-axis?

On a plane.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.