What gym equipment does Jesus use?

A cross trainer.

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Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why can't Ganondorf use the Internet?

There's too many Links.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.