What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

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What happened to the fish?

Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.

What happened to the clock that was still hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

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Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ?

The Lizard of Oz !