What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

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What does a cat sleep on?

A: A caterpillow.

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs !

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

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What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.