What's a foot long, is as hard as wood, and is slippery?

A wooden slipper

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Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why do we measure snakes in inches?

Because they don't have any feet!

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'