What's mostly red and has 2 legs?

Half of a cat.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?

A: Shoot one.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?

An octopuss !

2 Leg Jokes More 2 Leg Jokes

What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a human organ cut in half ?

A human piano.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.