What's the difference between a chick pea and potato?

I've never paid $50 to have a potato on my face.

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When should you charge a battery?

A: When you can't pay cash.

Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

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What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground?

Littering.

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What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?

Anything you want, He can't hear you!

What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!