What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What can I get for you, Ma'am?

She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."

What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons?

Harambae

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.