What's worse than a dead lawyer?

A living one.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road?

Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them