What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

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What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

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Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

What do you call a tuber that buys his girlfriend chocolates?

A sweet potato.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts.

What's the worst thing a girl can wear to bed?

A condom