What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

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What did one casket say to the other casket?

Hey, is that you coffin? Ba-dum-tsk...

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all of the coffin.

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What color was George Washington's white horse?

Haha morons

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776