What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What does your tattoo say?

Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.

Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

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What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal