Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Release Jokes More Release Jokes

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

Bad cam'ra

How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What did the ISIS fighter say when he went to bomb the Hawaiian cafe?

ALOHA SNACKBAR

Why does ISIS call camels "Ships of the Desert"?

Because they are full of ISIS seamen.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

Vine Jokes More Vine Jokes

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

What's the difference between a banana and a bann?

A bann grows on vines. I'll show myself out........

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where Your Children Are?

Even worse, the next song is called, "Can You Give Me Directions "

What do you get when a Mexican and Muslim have a child?

A kid who loves halalpenos

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)