Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out. :)

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

What does a man with a cow under his nose have?

A moostache (That was udderly terrible)

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why are churches never broke?

Because Jesus saves.

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's the first place Dora explored?

The mexican border.

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

Black Rapper Jokes More Black Rapper Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Claus and A Black Rapper?

Santa stops after three hoes.

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......

Why was the Router released early from prison?

It had connections.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What have you got on?

I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."