Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

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Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course shes happy!

Whos there Ellen Ellen who?

Ellen Pao Oh k lol stay out.

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What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

What's better than winning the Paralympics?

A: Having legs!

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Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.