What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P

How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders on the beach

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What you got there?

Not sure", replies the fellow, "But you have got to try-a-lil'-bite!"

What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics?

She has it bronzed.

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Germans do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

One. We're efficient not funny!

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

Contest Jokes More Contest Jokes

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest