Gold Medal Jokes

Whats better then getting a gold medal in the Paralympics?

Walking.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being

Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics?

Walking.

What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

What is better than getting a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having legs.

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.

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What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics?

She has it bronzed.

Why has the pope never won a gold medal?

Because he always came in a little behind.

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

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Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

Why is USA so gloomy?

Because only two parties exist for the whole country

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

Rio Jokes More Rio Jokes

What is Rio's least liked, most common Pokemon?

Zikachu.

What is the official cereal for the Rio olympics?

Cheer-Rios

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when Niagara trips?

Niagara Falls

What happens when you insult Terrance on the Oregon Trail?

You died of dysentery. Sorry.

Swimmer Jokes More Swimmer Jokes

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Special Olympics Jokes More Special Olympics Jokes

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics?

Walking

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

America Jokes More America Jokes

What's good for the soul and rarely found in America?

A sense of humor.

Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes?

Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why aren't their Mexican Olympics?

Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!

Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics?

Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border.