When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

so we can both sound useless.

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Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

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When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

What's your pleasure?

The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."