Where do you find a quadriplegic?

There where you left him.

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Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?

Because he was Haydn

What do you find in a cloud's shorts?

Thunderpants!

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What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.