Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?

Hot dog!'

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept?

How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."