Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

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Why can't Casper have kids?

Cause he has a Halloweenie

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

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Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

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What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

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How much will that be?

asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

Whatever's the matter ?

asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'