Which UK party will the sleeping pigs be voting for in May?

The Lay-Boar Party.

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Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

What's the biggest lie of the election?

Voting machines aren't hackable.

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Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here: