Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What do you call two siblings that take your money?

Fine brothers

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What do you get when you teach Android grammar?

A droid

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!