Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

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What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?

Sleep in the wardrobe !

What's the difference between plants and black men?

Cells are found inside plants.

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What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

What do you get when you cross a ghost and a the letter K?

A: A book.