Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why aren't fish good tennis players?

They don't like getting close to the net!

What do you call a fish who works for the government?

An Official.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !