Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

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What app do you use to browse Reddit on your phone?

9gag

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.

What are they doing?

Now I wonder the same thing.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?

Because he had his own scales !

Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts?

Because they all had a tare

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot?

A lamingTON!

Geordie Jokes More Geordie Jokes

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift