Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.