Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

e-reptile dysfunction

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What do you call a Mexican that won't get on a scale?

A no weigh Jose.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do me and my fridge have in common?

Were both empty inside and weigh a tonne

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.