Why are volcanoes mischievous?

Because they erupt to no good.

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What's the best part of being a necrophiliac?

In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

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How do you stop volcanoes from erupting?

Give them earth control pills heh heh heh...

What is it a volcano has which gives him trouble erupting?

Eruptile dysfunction.