Why did Donald Duck break up with Daisy Duck?

Turns out she was a quack whore.

This joke may have profanity.

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How do you end a relationship fight?

You break it up.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

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How do you turn a fox into a whale?

Marry her.

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

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Why are you upset?

Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!