What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

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What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

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Why is a duck when it's round?

Because the farther it flies, the fewer.

Why do ducks make the best detectives?

They always quack the case

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What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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Who's no chicken?

Donald duck.

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

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What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

Why did Steph Curry cross the road?

Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.

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What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.